Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
