Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
