Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
