everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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