You just made me feel so damn special
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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