You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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