Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
