my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
