Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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