we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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