dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize