I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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