"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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