Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
