we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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