i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
