I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
