He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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