Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
