I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Let's get the cat blown out
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
