he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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