Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
