My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
