Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
