I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I have aggressive nipples.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
