I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you never un-have a 4some
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
