Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
