summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
