Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
