Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
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