its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
