I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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