I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
