Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
