She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
