It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
