Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
