I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
