I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
