didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
my poor anus
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
