I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
