Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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