Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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