No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
