ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
