i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
