So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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