Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
