now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
