let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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