Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
